Ever had one of those odd moments when you realize that your current circumstances reflect what has been happening in your heart? I have. This week in fact.
Earlier in the week, we had a torrential rain. All seemed fine and dandy until nasty brown water started coming out of our faucets instead of the clear liquid we are used to drinking. Come to find out, we had holes in our well cap and ground water contaminated our well. And to top it off, we now had bacteria in our water which made it unusable unless it is treated.
As we were trying to figure out the right steps to solve the well issue, it seemed like other issues kept piling up. Mice invaded the garage. Ants attacked the kitchen. We received reports that we may have been exposed to lice, so I needed to make sure we didn’t have any at our house (and thankfully none have been found!).
My anxiety levels peaked as I was running dishes through water and bleach (to get rid of the pile of dishes and any bacteria), dealing with whining kids, killing ants, caulking my kitchen, feeling the need to clean the house from top to bottom, and trying to get lunch pulled together for my family. I was overwhelmed, snippy, and needed chocolate (dark chocolate to be exact).
Much like my well had been flooded with groundwater, my mind and heart had been flooded with subtle lies. The lie that I’m not enough. That I can’t keep up with the things coming my way. That I’m a failure. That I’m not a good mom and wife. That I don’t have what it takes. As the lies flooded in, the output of my mind and actions was contaminated. I was grumpy, impatient, and short with those around me.
As I reflected on what had happened later in my time with God, He brought two different scriptures to my mind.
Lead me to the Rock
The first one is from Psalms 61:2 NLT. “From the ends of the earth, I cry to you for help when my heart is overwhelmed. Lead me to the towering rock of safety.”
Rather than a scolding for not being good enough, I sensed the Lord’s gentle call to let Him be my Rock when I’m drowning. It was the quiet invitation to remember that He is enough. I may not be able to handle all of the things coming my way. That’s okay. He is enough. He will walk with me through today and will take care of my tomorrow. My worth isn’t based on my performance. It is based on the price that was paid for me at the cross. He is enough.
Guard My Heart
The second scripture that came to mind is from Proverbs 4:23 NLT. “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.”
Just like there was a hole in our well cap that allowed the dirty ground water in, there was a hole allowing access to my heart that allowed the lies to seep in. Rather than allowing the lies to continue to seep in and contaminate my heart, I had to make the choice to stop up the hole by believing the truth of God’s word and by choosing to think about His truth rather than my inadequacies. I had to choose to walk in gratefulness for God’s abundance in our lives rather than focusing on my fears of not being or having enough.
He Helps Me
Much like I had no idea how to clean out our well and my amazing husband came alongside me to figure out the next steps and do the clean out work, the Holy Spirit is longing to come alongside of us to help us in our weakness. He isn’t accusing when we mess up. Rather, He desires to help us take the next step and move forward into our calling.
I’m sure there will be more times where I mess up and get contaminated water into the well of my heart. When that happens, God promises to be the Rock where we can run. He will help us as we guard our hearts and will reveal truth to untangle the lies we have believed.
I don’t know what you’re walking through today, but if you’re in the place of feeling overwhelmed like I was, know that you have a God who loves you deeply. He has called you by name, and desires to take your hand and help you right where you are. You’re not alone. He is with you.